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Flavored Potato Chips, Part 1

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It has been way too long since I sampled the O.G. three Lays Million Dollar Flavors chips. I have a more detailed recollection of having scoured multiple CVSs and 7-11s in a search for snack sized bags of these guys than I do of actually eating the chips. That said, here are my recollections:

Chicken and Waffles: I’m pretty sure these just tasted like maple syrup. It was good, but why even bring chicken into the equation? It gave the whole thing a weird Chicken-in-a-Biskit vibe that I’m sure grossed a lot of people out. This was a major strategic blunder that basically cost us a lifetime of tasty maple syrup flavored potato chips.

Sriracha: I recall liking these a lot but I honestly don’t even remember how spicy they were. I’m pretty sure I thought these were going to be the winner.

Cheesy Garlic Bread: Artificial cheese flavor is indistinguishable from artificial sour cream flavor. Artificial garlic flavor is indistinguishable from artificial onion flavor. Surprise surprise, these chips won.

Night Cheese, Part II: Yancey’s Fancy Cheese Curds

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Night Cheese, Part II: Yancey’s Fancy Cheese Curds Wegman’s carries these in three varieties (chive being a recent addition). The Yancey’s website says there are actually five varieties so I guess Wegman’s is holding out on us or something. They are only $3ish a bag, require no cutting utensils, and last for many days. All in all, the plain ones (AND ONLY THE PLAIN ONES) are a very good and worthy cheese investment. I buy them weekly. Regular: Delicious. Salty, chewy and smooth. Only once have they had the authentic squeakiness of a “fresh” cheese curd but news flash they are not fresh they came to Massachusetts from New York and also, who gives a shit? Chive: Do you eat delicious cheese and think “This cheese is great, and all, but I really wish it tasted like it was stored open in the fridge right next to an onion”? Well, HAVE I GOT A CHEESE FOR YOU! Buffalo: Inedible. Seriously too hot. Raging flaming hellfire, and not in a way that is at all pleasant or palatable. My wife is a huge fan of Yancey’s regular Buffalo cheese, and so I bought these for her. I pulled them off the shelf and tossed them in the cart thinking “Damn, I am an all-around terrific, thoughtful wife.” Three curds in, she was done. She loves things far spicer than I can even pretend to tolerate, so of course the next logical step would be for me to try one. I can’t truly recognize a bad decision until I’m fully immersed in it. The Ez Factor: Regular: Ezra loves the regular curds. It is possible that he could love them more than string cheese, if he were capable of evaluating two things comparatively (he is not, he is a cat). Chive: Ezra does not care for the chive curds. His allotment went fully uneaten. Buffalo: We do our best to not harm animals in the creation of this blog, so Ezra was not permitted to sample the Buffalo curds.

Wegman’s carries these in three varieties (chive being a recent addition). The Yancey’s website says there are actually five varieties so I guess Wegman’s is holding out on us or something. They are only $3ish a bag, require no cutting utensils, and last for many days. All in all, the plain ones (AND ONLY THE PLAIN ONES) are a very good and worthy cheese investment. I buy them weekly.

Regular: Delicious. Salty, chewy and smooth. Only once have they had the authentic squeakiness of a “fresh” cheese curd but news flash they are not fresh they came to Massachusetts from New York and also, who gives a shit?

Chive: Do you eat delicious cheese and think “This cheese is great, and all, but I really wish it tasted like it was stored open in the fridge right next to an onion”? Well, HAVE I GOT A CHEESE FOR YOU!

Buffalo: Inedible. Seriously too hot. Raging flaming hellfire, and not in a way that is at all pleasant or palatable. My wife is a huge fan of Yancey’s regular Buffalo cheese, and so I bought these for her. I pulled them off the shelf and tossed them in the cart thinking “Damn, I am an all-around terrific, thoughtful wife.” Three curds in, she was done. She loves things far spicer than I can even pretend to tolerate, so of course the next logical step would be for me to try one. I can’t truly recognize a bad decision until I’m fully immersed in it.

The Ez Factor:

Regular: Ezra loves the regular curds. It is possible that he could love them more than string cheese, if he were capable of evaluating two things comparatively (he is not, he is a cat).

Chive: Ezra does not care for the chive curds. His allotment went fully uneaten.

Buffalo: We do our best to not harm animals in the creation of this blog, so Ezra was not permitted to sample the Buffalo curds.

Night Cheese, Part I: Gjetost

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Night Cheese, Part I: Gjetost Do not buy this weird brown Norwegian Cheese. It does not taste like cheese. The Ez Factor: Ezra cannot get enough of this stuff. He and Danjumbo spent about an hour knawing on it. If you think this is any indication that I might be mistaken, that this cheese maybe might be a good thing to put in your mouth and chew and swallow you are WRONG and the joke’s on you because they also eat CAT FOOD and Danjumbo doesn’t even like cheese.Do not buy this weird brown Norwegian Cheese. It does not taste like cheese.

The Ez Factor:

Ezra cannot get enough of this stuff. He and Danjumbo spent about an hour knawing on it. If you think this is any indication that I might be mistaken, that this cheese maybe might be a good thing to put in your mouth and chew and swallow you are WRONG and the joke’s on you because they also eat CAT FOOD and Danjumbo doesn’t even like cheese.