GUYS
I just ate the best potato chips I have ever tasted and I need to share.
So, rewind, those of you who read this blog who are related to me, aka those of you who read this blog, might know that for the past six years I have lived in a 100-year-old dumpy apartment in a vermin- and college student-infested neighborhood, and we just recently moved to a froufy house in a froufy suburb. Let’s play a tale of two kitchens. I just went from this white-walled nightmare:
…replete with floor tiles barely nice enough for an Ocean State Job Lot:
…to this magical kitchen dream land:
I still can’t even handle it.
And with this froufy house in a froufy neighborhood comes, among other things, froufy grocery stores. For example, our new Whole Foods is magical, the hot bar is three times the size of the one in Brighton and I estimate we have spent approximately $500 on it in about one month. But the most surprising frouf of them all is the froufiest liquor store I have ever been to: Marty’s. Now there is a Marty’s in Allston but that Marty’s is not this Marty’s. That Marty’s is just a dark warehouse that I do adore for carrying our favorite London No. 3 gin, but that is about it. This Marty’s (while it upsettingly does NOT carry London No. 3) is the most amazing store I have ever been to. Not only does this Marty’s have like seven varieties of Ballast Point beer, but this Marty’s also has a deli counter and a grocery/frozen section that is the most amazing selection of delicious imported and local shit. Dial this back and reprocess it: the giant liquor store HAS A DELI COUNTER that make SANDWICHES and every kind of delicious imported/local shit. They have Sweet Sloops. They have twelve different curry powders. They have those metallic tubes of garlic/pesto/anchovy/tomato pastes. They have maple sugar candy. They have Mexican chocolate. They have spicy sushi mayo. But most importantly, they have Torres Select Black Truffle Chips and Torres Select Black Truffle Chips, I learned today, are the most delicious potato chips I have ever eaten in my entire life.
Holy crap, these things are so good. Let’s investigate more, shall we? Oh, I see they are made in SPAIN. Shocking.
Also, check those ingredients. Truffle oil? Psh, truffle oil is for peasants and Frito-Lay. No, they have full on DEHYDRATED BLACK TRUFFLES because they are not fucking around. Look at these flecks:
That’s truffle baby. Guys, this is nuts. These things are like $3 for a single serve bag but it is so totally worth it. $3 for a bag of potato chips. They will change your life.
In summary…
Lay’s Do Us A Flavor West Coast Truffle Fries chips are this:
Torres Select Black Truffle Potato Chips are this:
REMINDER: you can still vote in this stupid contest to make sure that Lay’s Do Us A Flavor West Coast Truffle Chips are taken off of this planet and never returned. Vote Biscuits, biscuits.